Saturday, May 19, 2012

Impromptu Parties & Self Control

Today we had a party for the kiddos.  FIL (Father-in-law) bought some rib-eye steaks, cooked by hubby.  We even let the kiddos have some soda for dinner... for which they were THRILLED, as they are not allowed to drink soda on a regular basis.

So, what were we celebrating this time?  Remember that little post that I wrote on volunteerism?  Well... Hubby and I volunteer as soccer coaches for the local soccer league.  Today, all four of our soccer-playing kiddos had awesome games, and each kiddo scored at least one goal today.  That means that FOUR of our soccer-playing maniacs scored at least one goal.  Soooo.... the title for our party was "Every Kiddo Scored Today Party."

Honestly... I could come up with a new reason for an impromptu party every day.  It could be something as simple as "Baby's first time to sit up party." Or.. "I survived another day as mom to five party."  "The house is clean party."  "The laundry is DONE party." (That party would HAVE to be a HUGE celebration, since it's such a rare occasion...)  My point here is that there always seems to be some reason to celebrate, and some reason to lose complete control over what I choose to eat.

When I was a kid, I remember my mom being VERY specific about us only being allowed to have two cookies when we went to a party where there were cookies spread out on a table.  We would eat our two cookies and then be done with it.  So, how do we find balance when our chaotic life keeps drawing us into situations where we just don't feel like having only two cookies?  We want three, or four, or... however many it takes to get us past that desperate "I gotta have cookie satisfaction mode." into a place where we are completely satisfied?

In the strictest of confidence, I'll have to tell you... I still haven't reached a point where I always know when to stop.  But, right now... with my history... I honestly think it has to be a calculated decision.  "At the party, I will only have two cookies."  "I will only drink two beers." 
It's about setting limits before you get into the situation, and then following through with them.
Tonight, FIL bought a huge loaf of Italian bread.  I LOVE Italian bread!  (Especially when it's slathered with a thick layer of butter or dipped in olive oil... YUM!)  Tonight, however, I had a different outcome from previous "encounters of the bread kind."  LOL  Other nights I would immediately go after the bread and butter and unashamedly eat until I was stuffed.  But tonight I made a decision before I sat down to eat.  I decided that I wouldn't even touch the bread.  And you know what?  VICTORY!  Yes... I won.  I ate no bread.  I allowed myself to enjoy a glass of wine with my steak, and headed upstairs to put #5 to bed feeling good about myself.

You're probably thinking... WOW... she's not that pathetic after all... and doesn't break the diet nearly as much as you'd think she would.  But, honestly... being able to blog and write about food and my journey has been such a help!

It might seem like a small victory... but for me... it all goes back to the theme on balance.  Something I'm learning... although the journey may be somewhat arduous and long... 

But I'm realizing something rather important.  When I make good food choices during the day, instead of kicking myself at night, I go to bed happy, and as a result... I have just a little more self-respect... and it feels pretty darn good.

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