Even then, I knew what my real priorities were... or at least... what they should have been. There were too many excuses, however, getting in the way of me reaching that goal. The kiddos wouldn't let me work out... I didn't have the time... I didn't have the money... There were plenty of excuses, and I was quick to grab hold of them... and to accept them.
As a result, I spent the next five years with my weight fluctuating... my energy low... and constantly battling depression... In all actuality... I let the scale determine whether I would be happy or sad each day.
Five months ago, I said ENOUGH. If you go back and look at some of the articles I wrote toward the beginning of this journey, it's very plain to see... change was not easy for me. Doing the workouts every day... trying to change my eating habits... etc... none of it was easy, and it involved a LOT of little daily decisions, quite a bit of diet-breaking (that I DIDN'T blog about... I was too embarrassed!)... and the constant mantra of change... change... change...
I've discovered something pretty awesome, these five months later... that thing we KNOW... that thing we hear about in almost every serious diet book... I've actually done it! I have changed my lifestyle.
It has FINALLY become easier to make healthier choices. Instead of being tempted to sit down at the couch with a bag of Doritos and a soda at night, I'm okay enjoying my cup of decaf coffee. I love my peanut butter and banana snacks, and I just don't have to have that glass of wine every night. (WOOSH! Looking from the outside, I have to think... is that really ME???)
I'd be lying to you if I said... "Yeah, make the change... It's EASY!" Because, no... it is NOT easy. In fact... it's hard. It's VERY hard for some.
The decision to change is a daily thing... an hourly thing... and sometimes it has to be made every five minutes. I CHOOSE to be fit. I CHOOSE to be healthy. Every day, I choose to be that person that I want to be... because I really desire it, and I'm ready for change.
Now... I'm not saying all of this to brag... "Look at me... I'm so great... I'm so fit!" If you really know me, you know I'm a mom. I'm a wife. I'm a freelancer. I'm a doula. I'm a sister. I'm a soccer coach. I'm a singer in a band. I wear a LOT of hats. It's not always easy getting that workout in... sometimes it's early in the morning... sometimes mid-day... I've even been known to do a workout at 11:30pm. I'd be lying if I were to say that it was all because I'm just that great... but it's not. I have friends and challenge groups that are constantly inspiring me, helping to push me to keep going.
My life has NOT been perfect. I've had good times, and I've had some pretty bad times. But right now... I'm finally happy with where I am... and finally at peace. And my point is... if I can help you to get to that place too... I WILL. If you need a little cheering... I'll cheer you on. If you have a question that I can help with... I'll answer it. If you need a plan... I'll draw you the map.
I've been there. It's not worth it to live your life in such a way that it negatively affects you, your family, your friends, etc. Change CAN happen. Sometimes we just need a little help. I'm living proof of it... and you can be too. Just give me the word, and if I can... I'll help you to get there.
Because... if I can help just ONE person to feel the energy and excitement that I've been feeling? If I can possibly be an inspiration to one person to say yes to the change they truly desire? Then this accomplishment goes way beyond my own personal fulfillment and a simple lifestyle change.
I've been able to take this gift that has transformed my life and to share it fully with people who have also been there... who are there... and who just need someone to believe in them enough... for them to start believing in themselves.
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