Bless me Father, for I have splurged...

If I was back in the confessional, confessing my dietary sins for the past week, it would go something like this... "Bless me Father for I have splurged..." and then I would proceed to regurgitate the following litany of dietary debauchery:

• Chocolate (several Hershey bars I found left over in the freezer after making s'mores)
• Beer (We had an Oktoberfest party with amazingly authentic German beer.  Took a few days to finish off leftovers...).
• Roast  (Saturated and baked in Oktoberfest brew, slow cooked in the oven with potatoes and carrots.  Who can resist that?)
• Pizza (THAT one was FORCED on me by two loving friends who provided dinner for our family on Sunday after staying the weekend...)
• Dr. Pepper (Goes with the pizza...)
• Pumpkin Spice Latte (Same friend insisted on buying me a coffee... how could I refuse???)
• Oh yeah... BURGER & FRIES!  (I hit up TGI Fridays for lunch on Tuesday... something I RARELY do... but the urge was strong, and my friend had a discount card... *sigh*)

Today, I added to that list.  My MIL (Mother-in-Law, who is currently visiting along with my sister-in-law...) asked me if I would make some of my beloved homemade biscotti... so, being the good daughter-in-law that I try to be... I did.  Unfortunately, this loving act instigated a cataclysmic chain of diet-breaking events once again.  *sigh*  

In all sweet honesty, I really was determined NOT to taste a morsel... but as soon as that strong almond smell started wafting from my mixing bowl, I was done for.  From that moment onward, it was one disastrous snitch after another.  

After the biscotti was cut and toasting, I was forced to deal with a ton of crumbs on my cutting board.  And seriously... what's the best way to deal with these crumbs???  Put them on ice cream, OF COURSE!

Needless to say, I sit here, once again wanting to smack myself silly for failing to eat healthy... but so thankful that because I have been faithful to exercise, this last week has not set me back much at all as far as the scale is concerned... maybe that's why I've been so bad???  Argh!!!!!

My new goal is to get through MIL's visit... and then hit the reset button... again.  I am, however, going to endeavor to eat right the next few days.  Then again... isn't that what I always do?  LOL

Making the decision to change.

I wish I was one of those women who have it all together.  You know... the ones who live for their workout and just can't get enough. I've seen those girls.  They are in awesome shape, and they always look perfect!

Nope... that's not me.  I'd be happy to just wake up after sleeping in a bit and make my way to the couch with a cup of coffee and snuggle in with my babies to the latest episode of Dora or Diego.

The problem with this 'dream' is that I want to be fit.  I'm determined to be in shape.  I'm in my 30's, and I don't want to spend the entirety of my 30's feeling like I'll lose the weight... some day.  I'll get into shape... some day.  No.  The time is now.  And I have made the decision.

When that alarm goes off at 6am, and I'm still sore from the previous day and my baby's been up all night crying and fussing, I'm whining like a little girl inside, groaning and dragging myself out of bed.  I hate knowing what's ahead.  And to top it off, when the warm-up exercises start, my muscles are so stiff, it's sheer will-power to make them move beyond a snail's pace.  Being fit is a decision I have to remake over and over again, from the moment I wake up, and throughout every minute of the Insanity workout.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again.  I really don't like to do the Insanity workout.  It's hard.  I feel like cardiac arrest is only seconds away as I feebly go into a plank push-up position and try to look all strong and in control like the rest of the people in the video as they snap themselves from plank to standing with fingers touching their toes in one simple beautiful move.  While they're rocking the moves, I'm barely making it from floor to touching toes using some flapping fish sort of motion, sweat dripping down my nose.  Yeah... the picture of fitness beauty! (Notice the sarcasm there???  LOL)

The upside of it all???  I'm 37 days into Insanity, and starting to feel like I own the world!  For the first time, I have arm muscles that are defined and fun to show off.  (Yes.  I've always been a tomboy.  I like mud and I like showing off muscles... silly... I know...)  I can run up a mountain without dying when I get to the top, and I have the energy to run after five kiddos without feeling completely drained at the end of the day (Just partially drained... five is a LOT!  LOL).

The point is... If you REALLY want to make a change.  YOU CAN!  It's just a decision away.  You decide... How do I want this next year to go?  What will make me happier?  Feel better?  Feel more in control of my life?  I know the answer is different for everyone... but there is an answer out there, and it just requires one simple thing.  A decision.  And sometimes, it's a decision that's remade every minute of the day.

So make your decision to change... and then do it.

Three steps forward, two steps back...

Well... I've made it through the first part of Insanity and the recovery week.  I'd LOVE to say that I've been the poster child for Beach Body, but... alas... my Beach Body diet has been more like a four days on, three days off kind of thing... or even worse... three days on, four days off.  

I think the reason why I'm so bad about sticking to it is that when I do stick with it, I see results FAST!  Then I think... geez... I have some wiggle room now... maybe I will join hubby and the kiddos in those chips and dip or pumpernickel rye bread slathered with butter, paired with a nice amber brew.

That's usually the Friday night scenario, followed by Saturday at the soccer fields, where there's always lunch on the go to think about.  About the quickest thing we can pick up is a burger.  And, c'mon... what's a burger without fries, ketchup and a coke?  (Coke meaning... soda... pop... or whatever the rest of you yanks call it ;)

Come Sunday, I just top it all off with a nice brunch with french toast or pancakes and that real maple syrup my Vermont cousins gifted us... See how easy it is to fall prey to good food???

Regardless, I still consider my results to be FANTASTIC!  I'm down 13 pounds and up a ton of muscle.  Just take a look for yourself.  This is my 34 day before and after pic. (I have to admit, the before pic REALLY embarrasses me now...)

My goal this week is to actually STICK WITH IT!  I want to see the 130's.  So, my goal is to hit 139.9 before my big Oktoberfest party next Saturday.  Because on Saturday... it's no holds barred. I'm German, Irish and French, and take my ethnic background quite seriously.  On St. Patty's day, I feast.  On Oktoberfest, I REALLY feast.  Can't wait for that pumpernickel bread, sauerkraut and all the rest of the yummy goodies that come with the traditional feasting :)

My geek friends are coming early to stay the weekend (and I say geek with pure delight, as I myself fall into that category... and have a mild love affair with Linux) and we're gonna have FUN!

I know I'll have to pay the bill Monday, when I go back to being 'good'... but, I'll just take those next three steps forward, and in the long run... I'll still come out ahead :)